You need to do what you need to do to make your life better. Is it really that simple? Ted Matthews, a mental health practitioner with Rural Minnesota Mental Health Support, told AgriTalk’s Chip Flory that far too many people hear mental health and immediately think mental illness.
For many farmers that Matthews talks to, it’s “not that bad.” Farmers say they can handle the stress, Matthews says. This works until it doesn’t.
“We’re constantly pressured into this concept that it has to get to a certain point before we take care of ourselves,” Matthews explains. “And that’s absolutely stupid.”
Instead, farmers need to take care of themselves now, so they don’t have to worry about going down that road later.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Not only is it a time to address the challenges faced by millions of Americans living with mental health conditions, but it’s also a reminder to take care of your mental health.
“Everybody’s different,” Matthews says. What drives one farmer crazy may not phase another farmer at all. He encourages people to take a step back when stress sets in and evaluate what’s under their control and what’s not.
“We can’t control the water. We can’t control the sun. We can’t control a lot of different things,” he says. “But we can focus on the things we can control. That will give us enough energy to get those things done. Far too often I see people get so wrapped up in all the things that they can’t do, that they end up not doing the things they can do because they’re so stressed.
Knowledge, however, doesn’t always result in the stress going away.
“Just because I know something, doesn’t mean I’m not going to get stressed,” he explains. “That’s something that we always need to look at. I always tell people, be nice. Take care of yourself. Do what you need to do to make your life better.”
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Matthews says if you want to be more supportive of a farmer, say, “It must be really hard,” and let them tell you how they’re feeling about it. Don’t tell them what they should feel. Let them tell you what they do feel.
Everyone is always racing around like they’re at the Indy 500, he adds.
“I’m not saying it’s not important to get the crop in, but if you can take an extra half hour to have a cup of coffee, take an extra 10 minutes to talk to your wife or your kids or both, it will help,” Matthews says. “Take care of that end so it does not become an overwhelming stressor.”
Remember that your thoughts matter. When stress sets in, ask yourself these questions:
-What can I do to make life better?
-How can I listen better?
-How can I take care of myself better?
-How can I look at my mental health in a way that says, ‘I’m feeling better, and if I’m not, I’m responsible to make myself feel better.’
It’s time to stop waiting on others to step in, he adds.
“If only they would do this. If this happened, then I would (fill in the blank),” Matthews says. “Stop thinking those thoughts because we have no control over them. Focus on the things you do have control over, and you’re going to be a healthier person.”
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