When you run into people every day, do you really “see” them? Lately I’ve been thinking about the people in my life who truly “see” me – who aren’t too busy or preoccupied to notice how I am really doing.
My friend Mary does this. From the outside, she may be the tiniest person I know. But inside, she is a giant of a human who has a love for people like no other. I haven’t known her for long, but the impact she has made in that time is startling.
Mary will be the first to admit her shortcomings and claim she doesn’t have any profound knowledge to share. I argue this isn’t true, but she’s also taught me that it’s less about saying the right things and more about saying something.
I’ll never forget the night when I stopped by a church meeting on my way home from being at a work conference for three days. I had been driving for over six hours and was exhausted – mentally and physically. But I really wanted to be at the meeting to support our church.
The first person I saw when I walked in was Mary. She came over and gave me a hug and asked me how I was doing. Then she said, “Oh Jennifer, I love your jacket. You look so beautiful in that color. But, oh, your eyes look tired. Are you ok?”
I remember thinking in that moment that she really saw me – I mean, maybe I looked more awful than I realized. However, I think she could see the tired in my eyes that others probably wouldn’t have noticed because they didn’t take the time to really look.
That’s what I love about her. She takes the time to see people. I want to be more like Mary – to really see people and then, to not be afraid to say something.
I think we need to do a better job of celebrating with people when they are happy. We need to do a better job of sitting with people when they are struggling. We need to do a better job of noticing when someone’s acting differently than normal.
I hope we all have a Mary in our lives. Admittedly, we can’t force others to be a Mary to us, but we can be one to them.
Your Thoughts Matter
It’s graduation week for my daughter. I’m so proud of the diversity of talented kids with big dreams in her class. They’ve been through a lot together and my heart aches deeply for the empty chair where one of her classmates should be sitting on Sunday.
It’s incredibly hard to be a teenager in this world where literally everything is at your fingertips. Rising expectations for our young people to grow up faster than they should make me frustrated. It’s no wonder kids today don’t feel like they get to be kids for long.
Did you know that over 1 in 10 youth in the U.S. are experiencing depression that is severely impairing their ability to function at school or work, at home, with family, or in their social life? According to the latest Mental Health America report, 16.39% of youth (age 12-17) report suffering from at least one major depressive episode (MDE) in the past year. 11.5% of youth (over 2.7 million youth) are experiencing severe major depression.
We have to open our eyes and “see” people – and it doesn’t matter if it’s a 14-year-old or a 64-year-old. How can we walk into a room with eyes like my friend Mary that truly seek to see?
Read More:
Stop the “If Only This Would Happen” Game Now
Break the Stigma: It Starts With You and Me
Don’t Doubt Your Purpose When You Find Yourself in a Weird Spot
By Her Own Hand: A Farm Girl’s Miraculous Journey from Death to Hope
Breaking Taboo: Parent’s Worst Nightmare, Child’s Near-Fatal Decision
More Resources on Mental Health Wellness:
Pay Attention to Warning Signs of Stress
Toxic Grit: Is Our Greatest Strength Our Greatest Weakness on the Farm?
Farmers, Ranchers Have Ways to Manage Stress
Suicide Prevention: Your Worth Isn’t Measured By The Markets
Don’t Let Social Distancing Lead to Social Isolation
Connect With Farmers In-Person On Mental Health
Simple, Daily Habits to Help Manage Stress
Pay Attention to Warning Signs of Stress
When Your Trampoline Breaks: Avoid Isolation
7 Steps to Reduce Farm and Financial Stress
