Cornett: Calling Cory Booker

Brazilian cattle
Brazilian cattle
(File)

Why are we importing beef, especially processed beef, from Brazil?

Why aren’t we and all the environmental groups working together to hit DC like Jan. 6, demanding we stop importing that stuff. Food safety, we should say. Rainforest, we should yell. Indigenous tribes, we should holler. Global warming!

Where is Cory Booker when we need a leader?

From our beef industry, food safety, perspective: Brazil is not Canada. Take a google at “Brazil bribery” and see how many hits you get. Mine says: About 17,700,000 results (0.59 seconds). I love the country. Love the people I know from there. But its form of government can best be described as a Bribeyocracy.

The ever-reliable Wikipedia states flat out: “Corruption in Brazil exists on all levels of society from the top echelons of political power to the smallest municipalities “ That’s a bribeyocracy in my books. A corruptopia. A place where you don’t drink anything without alcohol in it and you keep a pocketful of cash in case you get caught stealing something or murdering somebody.

I’ve had a little experience with bribeyocratic countries. I don’t want to talk about my college visits to Juarez, so I’ll remember back in the 60’s, when my dad hired braceros.* One of them was my age and we got to be friends. He returned year after year even after the official program was halted. Sent every cent home; first to help some kid brothers through school then to buy a policeman’s job in Chihuahua City. I asked why be a cop and he said because you can make a lot of money.

We had our own Spanglish language, Eliobaldo Sanchez Corral and I, because I knew some Spanish words and he knew some English words and we pretty well knew which ones the other guy knew. I didn’t tape, but I believe the nearly exact quote was, I believe, “maybe un hombre, una muchacha, kissee-kissee in el parque…” and then he wagged his index finger, no-no, and then did the fingers-to-thumb, whisking, universal sign for money.

A little kissee-kissee mordita is one thing. But he could have been planning to buy a job inspecting meat. Um, or a packing conglomerate, I suppose.

Wait. What were we talking about? Oh, yes. WHY ARE WE IMPORTING BEEF FROM BRAZIL?

Surely you saw the recent Washington Post article with the headline How Americans’ love of beef is helping destroy the Amazon rainforest?

I have done wrong things in my life, not even counting Juarez, which I’m sorry even came up in the conversation, but destroying rain forest to produce beef is not one of them. And I don’t think I like being lumped in with the people described in that article. And I’d like to mention to the reporters that those guys are selling their beef to my customers and I don’t very much trust their matadouros. And I prefer not to share my reputation with them.

Are you aware: China banned Brazilian beef for a while. China!  And those folks will eat anything. Bats. Cats. Rats. Eels. Seals.

NCBA is not an overly protective outfit, you know. I mean they like exports a lot more than they fear imports. But they are scared of Brazilian beef.

They beseeched the administration last month: “We are, once again, calling on Secretary Vilsack to suspend fresh beef imports from Brazil, because of that country’s long history of failing to report BSE cases in a timely manner. It’s incredibly disappointing to have our science-based recommendations met with no notable response by the U.S. Department of Agriculture,” said NCBA Vice President of Government Affairs Ethan Lane. “As beef imports from Brazil continue to rise, we urge USDA to reconsider their stance on Brazilian beef and take necessary action to safeguard the integrity of the entire U.S. food supply chain.

“NCBA believes that restricting Brazilian imports all altogether is essential until Brazil proves it is a trustworthy and reliable trade partner, capable of adhering to our standards.”

And the response from the administration? Crickets.

And speaking of crickets, they eat those in China, too. And even China banned Brazilian beef for a while. And those people eat bats and snakes and pig eyeballs. It’s a place where “offal” and “delicacy” are synonyms. They eat so many things a man with time on his hands could probably do a knockoff on the old Hank Snow tune, “I’ve been everywhere, man.”*

So, it’s not safe enough for China? “Hey!” Says Secretary Vilsack.” “Mr. Acougueir! We’ll take it!”

So, I don’t understand why.  I’ve defended beef imports. They help us more than they hurt us. But. Canada is a good friend. Australia is a good friend. New Zealand is a good friend. And I trust their systems. They aren’t bribeyocracies. (Well, maybe a bit of kangaroo a few years ago. But, we all need to keep open minds. Remember what your mama told you. “You don’t know you don’t like it until you try it.”)**

Brazil seems to me to have become a bit standoffish toward us. I mean they’re kind of playing both sides on this Ukraine travesty.

It’s not just beef at stake here. The Post article made it clear that the Brazilian herd is growing at the expense of clearing rainforest. Losing that habitat for some really cool endangered animals and plants is bad enough, but those trees are also a significant part of the earth’s pulmonary system. You may have your doubts about global warming, but I’ve outlived mine. We’ve got too many south Texas creatures roaming the Panhandle to leave me with any doubts. Plus, we’re in a drought that the dendrochronologists say hasn’t occurred in like a thousand years. You can argue with the climate guys, but never argue with a dendrochronologist. They’ll run tree rings around you.

And most Americans are worried about it. And why, oh why, aren’t our guys going arm-in-army*** with the tree huggers to get it stopped? I have my outline for action: food safety, animal health. Save the rainforest. Save the “uncontacted” indigenous tribes.

Like I said. Where’s Cory Booker when we need him?

Send me your thoughts: Sconett9163@yahoo.com

Steve Cornet is a retired cowboy editor who lives in Canyon, Texas, but sometimes near Houston, and much of the time on his ranch in the eastern Texas Panhandle, intent on spending all of his retirement funds spoiling his grandchildren and running cows.

*Wikipedia has a primer on the bracero program, which I still think should be the model for any immigration reform. (As I recall, the wages were 50 cents an hour by the 60’s. Which is what we farm kids were paid, as well.) When the program was rescinded automation and bigger equipment, not domestic workers, were the replacement. Every bracero I knew—and I was the neighborhood’s unofficial bracero uber driver because of my very rudimentary Spanish, so I knew quite a few) were great guys whose families in Mexico needed the money.

*Happened to have a little time on my hands and took a crack:

I've ate everything, man, I've are everything.

I’ve ate…Salamander, oleander, black cats, white rats, monkey eyes, snail pies, raw snakes, snake cakes, cow tails, toe nails, I’ve ate everything.

That’s all the time I had on my hands, but it’s pretty hummable, I think. Anyhow, if you’ve never been to China you should go. It’s an interesting cuisine. But for a while you couldn’t get Brazilian beef there. I guess they were like all “buh-lanch. Who knows what’s in that?” Not us. We kept it rolling in.

**Found this ad for kangaroo meat. Says “The true taste of Down Under.”  Boy, there’s a slogan that could be misconstrued.

***Arm-in-army. I might just copyright that as a new word for “coalition.” Arm-in-army. “Look out, there they come. Cowboys and Hippies and birdwatchers. A veritable arm-in-army. And that’s Cory Booker in the lead.”

 

 

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