The Power of Love and Faith: How a Journey to Help Foster Kids Heal On the Farm Led One to Their Forever Home
U.S. Farm Report 8/6/22- Radke Family Foster to Adoption Grit with Grace.
Tyler and Amanda Radke’s story started in college.
“We met on the South Dakota State University (SDSU) Meat Judging team, judging ribeyes, so it only makes sense we kind of took ownership of that side of the beef industry, too,” says Amanda Radke, a mom and a fifth generation rancher from Mitchell, South Dakota.
Bonding over beef and cattle from the start, it’s only fitting that the cattle business is still their calling today.
“We sell bulls private treaty to area ranchers,” says Tyler Radke, of Nolz Limousin and Radke Cattle Company. “We sell about 35 to 40 limousine bulls, and we have a fall female sale, as well, with select show heifers and a couple of steers. We sell those private treaty, as well, to people that come and look and local families as well.
The Radkes also own and operate Radke Cattle Company. Life on the ranch is busy, but Amanda stays busy even off the ranch. Not only do they run a direct-to-consumer beef business, but Amanda is a motivational speaker, children’s book author and a boutique owner.
Listen as Radke shares her story with AgriTalk's Chip Flory:
Struggles with Infertility
Growing businesses seems to come naturally for the Radkes, but where they struggled was trying to start a family.
"When we first got married, we actually went through a really hard time of infertility and not being able to start a family,” says Amanda. “I really struggled with just feeling like a failure.”
Struggling through the emotions of trying to have a child, the Radkes are now blessed with three.
“Scarlett was born June 3, 2014, Thorne was born June 4, 2016 and Croix was born May 22, 2018,” she says. “So, we had three kids born two years apart, exactly, and life was pretty busy.”
Tyler's Calling
Tyler and Amanda's hearts were opened to the idea of adoption as they initially waded through the uncertainty of whether they would be able to have children of their own. One day, after their third child was born, Tyler felt a calling.
“Apparently, I didn't think we had enough going on,” says Tyler. “I honestly don't know what I saw that made me think of it.”
“He just said, ‘We need to do foster care.’ And my reaction was very negative, because we were maxed out,” Amanda recalls.
Amanda was on the road constantly giving speeches and doing other travel for her job, all while juggling life with three kids and the family's growing businesses.
“And so I instantly said, ‘No, you're crazy. I'm drowning right now,’” remembers Amanda.
A Change of Heart
That day, Amanda headed to the airport for a work trip, and on the plane, her heart was changed.
“But again, God had a different plan, because I got on a plane, and the movie on the plane that day was ‘Instant Family’, which is a movie about foster care. And so I’m sitting on the plane bawling like a baby.”
She left on the work trip thinking Tyler’s idea was crazy, but that moment instantly changed her mind.
“He's the steady, even keeled member of our relationship. I mean, he keeps the family going, and I have crazy, wild ideas that go take us off on other journeys and adventures,” Amanda says with a smile. “So for him to have that thought, I truly don't think it even would have happened had it not been for god giving him that nudge to say, ‘Get this ball rolling.’”
So, that’s exactly what Tyler and Amanda did.
“We call the office and we just want information on how do we get involved and they said, ‘You're in luck, the Mitchell training started last week, you guys can jump in,’” says Amanda.
The Start of their Journey to Foster
That happened in April, and by August, Amanda was sitting in a coffee shop with a friend when an unexpected call came.
“It was the state, and they had two kids and they needed them emergency placement for that weekend, “ she says. “And I said, ‘I don't even have our license.’ And they said, ‘Yes, we just threw it in the mail.’”
When Tyler and Amanda told their friends and families their wild idea and decision to foster, they admit not everyone was as receptive to the idea, especially her parents.
“They were scared,” says Amanda. “They were worried about our own kids and the effect that have on them. And just they knew we were a young couple, working full-time jobs, trying to build this farm, we're trying to be in the seed stock business. We were very maxed out as far as time goes. So, I think in their minds, they're like, ‘You don't have time to do this.’”
She says the conversations that followed weren’t easy, as their strong system of support questioned the decision they had just made.
“At one point, I told my dad, ‘Take it up with Jesus, because this isn't even us. We don't even know what we're doing either. So, we can't even really fully explain it.’ But all it took was that meeting those first two kids, and they got it,” says Amanda.
She says in the last two years with the pandemic, they’ve welcomed a dozen children into their home to foster.
“I just truly believe that there can be a lot of healing done on the farm,” says Amanda.
From healing to growth, she’s even witnessed growth with their three children.
“They became like little agvocates, because they're teaching these kids about the farm,” says Amanda. “And we just kind of step back and let them do their thing. So, they're giving them the tour, and they're teaching them how to pick grass and feed calves through the fence.”
Another Call–This Time, About a 7-Month-Old Baby
Fostering has been far from easy for the family, but as the Radkes can attest, life often reveals other plans. That was the case in 2020. As the world shut down and so did Amanda’s work travel, she was questioning what was next.
“And a week later, we got a call for a seven-month-old baby. And I was like, ‘Oh, now I see why my schedule is cleared, because we have a whole different adventure to go on,” she remembers.
That baby became part of the family during that time.
“We had that baby all of 2020 and got to do all of her milestones with her and love on her,” says Amanda. “And on her first birthday, we found out she was leaving. My heart broke into a million pieces because that was my baby.”
The Radkes knew they’d only have her temporarily, but they were attached and the entire family was crushed.
The Final Call for a Forever Home
Tyler and Amanda had to hold it together for their three children. So, that's what they did, and life continued to go on, just as it did before. But a few weeks later, another call came.
“And that's where Alex came in,” says Tyler. “He had been in some foster homes before, coming and going, and now he was available for adoption. Wherever he went was basically going to be his next home.”
They sent Amanda a picture of Alex. He had blond hair and blue eyes, just like their other three kids.
“And I about fell over because I said, ‘He looks like our son.’ And she said, ‘Yeah, I know. That's why I called you.’ And I said, ‘Okay, I need to talk to Tyler.’”
At that time, it was a very harsh calving season. Tyler was also busy with cattle shows and sales, so their businesses were extremely busy. The decision to adopt wasn’t taken lightly.
“We'd learned from the dozen kids that the dynamics changed significantly, if it's a-seven-month-old, or we've had an 11-year-old, and it changes the family dynamic,” says Amanda.
The risks. The what ifs. The unknowns. The entire family had already experienced it with a dozen children, but temporarily. Yet, they agreed to meet Alex, and ultimately, become his forever home.
“Four days later, he had packed up his bags and moved to our house for good,” says Amanda.
Alex's Adoption Day
Adoption day came October 5, 2021. The wild adventure and continuous chaos at the farm is where Alex seems to fit right in.
“Within that first year, he knew all the equipment in the field, he could rattle it off and had tons of farm knowledge. It was just crazy how he soaked it up like a sponge,” she says.
Alex is a four-year old who has braved more in his little life than many will have to do in their entire lifetime.
“We always called him our superhero cowboy because when he came, he loved superheroes, but one night, very early on, I tucked him into bed, and he said, ‘Mama, can I be a cowboy?” And I said, ‘Cowboy? You already are buddy,’ and not because he lives on a farm now and we have cows, but because of how brave he is to change homes and to trust us,” says Amanda.
The trust has grown not only with Tyler and Amanda, but also their other three children. Scarlett, their oldest, stepped into the role of mama bear to not just Alex, but to all the kids the family has fostered the past few years.
“I taught them to be safe on the farm, not to go under the tractor. Don't go into the pen, especially if there's a crabby mama,” says Scarlett.
And as they only girl, Scarlett can hold her own, especially when the boys become rowdy.
“I tell them I'm going to wrangle them up with my pink rope,” she says with a big smile.
Creating a Farm Sanctuary to Help Kids Heal
From fostering to now adoption, the Radke’s heart of service and selflessness have helped create a farm sanctuary that has helped children heal.
“Their lives have been pretty tumultuous, really,” says Tyler.
“I think giving them that space has helped,” adds Amanda.
“Well, depending on what you're doing for that day, but for the most part, space,” adds Tyler as he smiles.
Tyler says he may never know what sparked his crazy idea to foster that day a few years back, but he just knew how lucky his kids were to grow up on a farm.
“I just wanted to share that with other kids that maybe had tougher luck than ours did, because they deserve the same,” Tyler says.
Fostering Because the Kids Are Worth Fighting For
Amanda says they've seen firsthand how the need for more foster parents across the U.S. is tremendous.
“There are more than 400,000 kids in the U.S. foster system today that are waiting for a forever mom and dad. And then there's even more of them that are going to be temporarily in foster care before they can be reunified [with their family],” she says. “And so if there's even a calling remotely on your heart to step into this really hard space, don't ignore it, because the kids are worth fighting for.”
The Radkes have three goals: provide peace with a place to heal, experience a family full of love and introduce them to a household strong in faith. A recipe that’s filled with grit and grace.
"We always tell people, there's always room for one more at the dinner table," she says. "It's been hard, but at the same time, we've been able to just roll with the punches and take on a little bit extra. When you think you're maxed out, there's always a little extra space to help someone."
Amanda says even if you don't want to start the process to become a foster parent, there are other ways you can support foster families who are in need of supplies and other donations as they continue their foster journey.
Grit with Grace
You can watch more touching and inspiring stories from across rural America in Grit with Grace.
